'09 We Off That!

01/01/10

How does it feel to be in a new year? Well to be honest for me, it was of no significance because my New Years' plans was brutally destroyed so I spent it in my room. Not very happy about that.

But anyway I wish all you folks bountiful blessings for this new year; hey and after today you only have 364 days left to tackle, LOL. Keep faith alive in all of the tribulations that you will come across this year (face it, we all will at some point).

With that I leave you this quote :

“What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.” T.S. Elliot.

CHEERS!

Ode to the Holidays

Sup folks?
Haven't been around in a while for a number of reasons which you probably don't care about. But long story short I'm here now and that's what matters. I hope everyone is enjoying the holiday season and is being well-rested.

Anyway on my way home from a long trip to my cousin's abode, i was feeling REAL poetic. Lol...I'm an amateur but I don't think its half bad. Take a look-see...(mm, PS i don't have a title)



Its funny when its just a number on your phone
When dialed it used to make your heart beat like a ringtone
You see the text and its like your world froze
Repeating the words over and over like prose

A guilty pleasure locked within the SIM
Chances of forgetting those digits ran slim
Now the number gets lost within the texts
You skip over and hit next
Because the changes don’t make sense
Like paying for messages by the cent
Its like a switch of providers
From Cingular to T-Mobile
Your love was so global
All balled up and squeezed into ten digits
The anticipation of your existence makes one fidget

Now its like someone toggled the delete
You put the feelings in a tweet
Aimed to high and missed your heart
Now it’s time to hit on/off and restart.

Yepp, there it is. I'm not sure how great it is but I mean if its good and you want to steal or bite wait till I'm famous or something...lol #imjussayin.

Well that will be all. I feel a headache coming.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS :D

I'm into twitter love by the way : @itsyagirlolivee

Role Confusion, Role Confusion

Its been a while since my last post but ill have you know that YES I'm still alive! I've just been preoccupied with school and such. I'm quite twitually active as well if I say so myself [@itsyagirlolivee] ;).

So I decided to speak on a topic i felt so PRESSED to talk about. Something my roommates and I like to call ROLE CONFUSION. What is it you ask?
Role Confusion - [rowl kun-fush-un] verb : the act of an individual perpetrating on a pre-existing relationship in an attempt to sabotage or take over the role or position of the existing power.

With that said, yesterday the trending topic on twitter was #sidechickawareness; people went in! So, this just reminded me how females often get their roles confused when it comes to relationships.
A couple will be in a "committed" relationships (and I put committed in quotation marks because commitment does not include cheating which people do anyway in "committed" relationships) and the guy will sometimes have a sideline chick who...well quite frankly has her role confused.

My take on it is, a sideline will never play the court...the ball may roll out of bounds into the stands every now and then and she may catch it. But eventually it will always be snatched back until it rolls somewhere in her direction again. LOL the water boy will NEVER become point guard....#imjussayin!

This finally brings me to the whole Tiger Woods saga--a man who no one really paid attention to until now. Well, the scandal now is that Tiger cheated on his wife with multiple mistresses...the count now is 3. Damn Woods, whats up?! But anyway I found something very interesting on Necole Bitchie's Blog. A fellow reader on her blog wrote:

"If you’re stupid enough to be a mistress, you learn, know, and love your role. Your role is to lie on your back quietly and be taken care of. You won’t gain anything by opening your mouth. You’ll end with less than you had before, the man still won’t want you, and you’ll still be a whore. Just play your part. Men, If you’re gonna cheat on your wife, cheat with someone who has just as much to lose as you do. That way they won’t open their mouths because they’d suffer just as much as you do."

A very smart individual he/she is!
Why men and women keep sidelines in the first place is something for another day. But for one thing if you are going to intrude on a relationship be less of an obstruction and play your position. Besides that there is no reason for a women to get caught up as a sideline if they respect themselves. #kanyeshrug.

Till the next.

Leaving the Bench

Whether you would like to admit it or not, sometime in our lives, we all wanted deep down to fit in and be accepted. What you wanted to "fit" into is of your own making. Coming to college was a re-awakening experience for me, helping me to fully bloom into the person who I really WANTED to become. Back in high school, it was all one big fashion parade. Who had the latest gear? Who rolled with the baddest crew? Who went to the last Wallah party? Who was TOO COOL for school? The glitz and glamour was what was exemplified while academics had no say. Now, I was always into having nice things and looking presentable but one thing I could not do was to hide my intelligence. As much as people sucked their teeth at you because you were too 'high and mighty', that you couldn't sit in regular English or math classes (instead took the Honors and AP route) I still knew that deep down, that attending school every day, going to class, and doing homework every night wasn't going to be for nothing. Not necessarily to prove anyone wrong, but to be comfortable with the person I would have to face in the mirror everyday.

Now, college taught me way more than 3 Chem sessions a week or Black Experience with Ramsamy. College taught me that not everyone in your past will matter in your future. I wish someone could've told me that earlier, or even if they did, I probably wouldnt have listened. After being in college for about a year and a half now, I cant see myself looking back twice at some of the people I used to go to high school with. Yea, it's nice to see them every now and then, but some make me feel oblivious to their presence especially when they go on their little spheal "Oh girl, u went to college and got brand new; you too cool for me!"….No honey, I was never brand new, you JUST realized who I am. Likewise, college gave me the opportunity to put me on a real gameboard, to feel real competition. Before college, never had I felt compelled to compete with grades. Now that I get to leave the bench, I'm out on the field pitching hard for those A's! LOL! Now I'm always motivated to do better. When your on the yard, everyone is just like you, just trying to live and work hard.

This is why I get particularly annoyed when certain people enter the playing field of college and they still want to hold onto that rugged 'too cool for school', 'I roll hard on these streets' mentality. As far as I'm concerned, you're here just like me, there's no need to hold on to that cloak. We're all striving for success so there is no one to clown you for it.

Not trying to imply that I'm better than anybody, but I don't have the time to worry about who I have to look better than or the next big thing. I'm all about doing what I have to do to get the most out of my existence. Shouldn't we all? We don't live forever, but when you're gone what will people remember you by outside of your name?

Think about it.
Some people live to be regular…and it's okay to be regular, but others live to be exceptional.
(don't quote me on that, lol because I don't remember where I got that from!)

Until the next!

Hi Hater!

There seems to be a looseness with the word "hate" in today's everyday language. People throw the word around and stretch it out of context. But as always its never right to discuss a topic without a social definition at hand:

UrbanDictionary's Definition of "Hater" :

A person who feels anger and/or jealousy for someone who has succeeded in something they have worked hard for.

A being who speaks badly,and/or takes negative actions in attempt to create problems for a successful person.

The term is more often than not used improperly to title a person who simply does not like something or someone because it’s not what they are into.

There you have it. Personally, I agree with all the definitions described above but I wanted to focus extra attention to the last definition. More times than not, people will express honest opinions about something and then automatically another party will constitute them as haters.

I mean I don't HAVE to like the shoes that you're wearing. LOL.
I'm not trying to take the a'hole route here but I recognize quality and talent, and quite frankly I am the beholder of what I see is beauty. Likewise, if asked my opinion and it happens to be of your distaste, its not hate...sorry!

Don't get it confused though. There are "haters" out there; some more obvious than others. However instead of casting gray clouds on another man's medal, ask them how you can get on their level!

Till the next.

Peashh.

I'm Gonna Need You to Talk to the Hand

Recently, I read up on certain things in reference of women to acts and behavior most contituted towards "ghettoness". I'm not going to bother defining it because that will only spark a whole other discussion in itself. Ghettoness is only a social derivative of what we individually believe.

Nonetheless, there is always this level of hypocrisy and ignorance when it comes to African-Americans looking down on other members of their race deemed to be "ghetto". Not to get it twisted though; if I am in an uncomfortable position where I feel I am surrounded by too much of this G-word, I am QUICK to remove myself from the situation. That is just my way of staying out of trouble.

However, when I see people with these elitist attitudes jesting at the likes of these so-called "ghetto" females, I shake my head. Yes, these behaviors are indeed unfavorable but we must not turn around and see ourselves as "better than them". Because behind all the hype and good laugh you get from looking down on these individuals, this is the growing cause of the divisible line in the Black race.

Oh and shall I touch up on the word, "Hoodrat". This word in my mind is VERY derogatory, and in my opinion a racial slur. The same way one may call a white person a "cracker" or a Mexican a "spic" is indeed the same way you call a Black/African-American person a "Hoodrat". [Should I note, only to be used as an example, so please take no offense :)] Now the only difference with this term is that it is used by African-Americans against other African-Americans. Now, why after so many years of oppression (yeaaa we taking back to slavery!) are we loosely using this term to call a woman (more specifically) a "hoodrat"?

NO BUT SERIOUSLY, who wants to be called a RAT?! When I thought about the context of this word, I erased it from my vocab.

So for all you folks out there who haven't exactly caught the jist of why I titled this post the way I did, let me break it down like this...

If your going to check the actions of other people, please check yourself first. Be careful about the things you say to other people. I myself is guilty of having diarrhea mouth every now and then but I try to come to terms with the consequences of my actions.

Ignorance is bliss guys. If everyone lifts plus one, we all rise together.

♥Olive

Let’s Talk About Sex

No, we won't be talking about sex (sorry guys! LOL) but now that I've got your attention what I will be speaking about is the OPPOSITE SEX. More specifically, what bothers me about the opposite sex and don't worry fellas I'll be sure I include the things that I'm sure annoys you about the ladies.

[DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A LONG ONE! BUT INTERESTING! I PROMISE!]

Nevertheless, I'm sure that both the ladies and the guys have had their complications and altercations when it came to the opposite sex and in this post I'll be getting into the nitty gritty. Oh, and I'm in no way calling anyone out on a subliminal! Ill just make that clear beforehand. Now that is all said and done, let's start with women and their problems with the guys.

1. In a mating perspective, guys will show persistent interest in a girl and possibly even tell her directly that he is "feeling" her. In the process of that or somewhere down the line, the girl may like him as well. THE MOMENT, that the girl seeks to further the relationship…in other words "see what's good", all of a sudden the guy loses interest. Yea yea yea…I've heard the excuses—"I don't want a relationship right now" or "I'm not trying to wife nobody at the moment". Save the sausage. If that was how you felt in the beginning then you shouldn't have relayed such persistent interests like that. And if you were doing it for the booty, then that's a whole different story…

2. Guys will always go off at the mouth about how "girls talk". Well guys talk too! As a matter of fact, guys talk MORE than girls in my perspective. The matter of the talk and the motives are different however. Girls will talk around their girls to get information off of one another; sometimes its harmless gossip, other times it for when females get conniving. Guys talk to boost their egos. You will see a group of guys who aren't even sub-par in looks or personality RATING women.

3. Another troubling factor is what I call "going Hollywood". You will see an "in the cut" guy who is not "in the cut" by choice, otherwise he's unnoticed. Lets not be biased however. The guy can be real cool, friendly, and down-to-earth just because he has no choice but to be cool, friendly, and down to earth. Then all of a sudden, they get an advance ticket to "fame" and then whoooppps, people "get Hollywood" on you. What I mean by this phrase is that all of a sudden you need to jump up and down waving for this person's attention. Sometimes its that 'I'm too high and mighty', 'll greet you when I want to, and respect you when I feel like it attitude. Please if you may, sit down because your Nikes are still leaning over BEFORE and AFTER you got that ticket.

4. This one can actually go both ways. I dislike how guys and girls set these crazy high standards about what they want out of the opposite sex when they don't even exhume such types of characteristics themselves. For example : (names are fictional!)

Bianca: My boo has to have a nice stomach (with the V!!). He has to be tall, dreds, athletic, cultured, God-fearing, with a job!

Now the problem with your list Bianca is that you listed physical characteristics to the T or should I say, to the V. Second problem is that your looking for one that is cultured and God-fearing yet you haven't gone to Church or gotten on your knees to pray since last Christmas. That's NOT going to work….Then alas you want him to have a job…are you overdue on a touchup or….?

Greg: My shawty has to be cute in the face and thick in the waist. She has to be smart and be able to cook.

Now the problem with your list is you want a girl with a nice body, most likely fit. Great. But you haven't been in the gym one day of your life and you have rolls creeping on your neck. Ok, yea she needs to be smart and be able to cook but your lazy.

Since I've touched up on the girls and this post is getting long enough, I might as well get started on the ladies.

1. Girls will always run their mouth about how they don't do "nice guys"…and instead chose a guy who "has never done a damn good thing in his life, not even to his momma" (as quoted by some man on youtube) and expect the guy to change and be "nice" to them, for them. Unfortunately, life doesn't work that way. If you pick a bad apple, then you will get sick. Don't get a hold of a wrong kind of guy (walk over a nice guy to get to the bad guy) and expect it to be all roses afterwards.

2. Females that complain too much. Sometimes there need to be a reset button. When are you ever truly happy and content? If the person is not meeting your needs, you need to begin to check yourself because a person will only provide from what you can bring to the table. You can't come home empty-handedly and expect dinner at your feet if you didn't stock up the refrigerator in the first place. And if you feel that you are in fact doing all you can and there is no type of input on the other end, it's time to pick up your load and keep moving. There are guys who will buy anything and everything for their significant others. Not saying she's a gold-digger but she's not messing with no BROKE! And as soon as that well dries up or the person decides to puts a cork on the lid, you hear the run of the mouth. What are you doing to keep that well running?! LOL!!! And personally if you cared about him and not his money then that shouldn't matter.

3. Girls that exhume that "I'm too Independent and He Can't do Sh*t for me!" attitude. This demeanor disturbs me in the sense that, It's all one big front. There is absolutely nothing wrong with an independent woman. In fact, real men love independent women! But when you start coming off as I'm too good for every man on the face of this earth or front about how you really feel about another person then that's where there is an issue. Sometimes it is true that, yea your "better than him" when it comes to where you are in life, but there ARE good guys out there who do want to get to know you and appreciate the beautiful, independent woman that you are.

Overall, both the guys and the gals have to come to terms to who we really are and create realistic standards about what we want in the opposite sex. These standards MUST reflect who we are as a person and how we come off to others. You are the company that you keep. Always remain humble in all that you do and be honest with yourself and others. This was a long post but it was worthwhile! Hope you enjoyed the read. I don't do this too often! But as we continue to disentangle the questions and annoyances about the opposite sex, lets enjoy the roller coaster ride of life that we live on. Stay blessed.

Olive ♥