So I mentioned in my last post that I would do a lil something special for the incoming students
fresh out of high school. So here it goes ;)
Dear Froshie Friends, Respective 'Fresh Meat' aka 'Boneless Ribs' (with some zesty BBQ sauce on top, not to mention) of the Future Graduating Class of '13,
The least of your troubles this year will be the excruciating itch of the Mosquito Bite from a short-lived summer or the 1,000 vigorous questions of the SAT's. Instead you will be coming of age. That is, coming of age into a world consumed by $150 dollar one-use only textbooks, gallons upon gallons of alcohol consumption, two hour drooling periods in the library, and monotone-speaking 'too high and mighty because I have a Ph.D' professors. Yep. Tough huh? But it certainly does not stop there. What about the anxiety associated with the fact your grade only depends on practically two exams? As a Catholic priest will say, "May the Lord Be with You" if the professor blesses you with three exams. And what about those meal swipes that A) either seem to never finish or B) have you living at the mercy of others? What agony. Did I mention the hustle and bustle aboard the buslines? It's just your kinda day--your running late, the bus is PACKED and today your nose is lucky to be having a sweet conversation with someone's armpit while your other arm is being crucified by someone's 99 cent spiral notebook. GREAT. Did I mention the Freshman 15? Sorry folks, its not a myth.
But its not THAT bad. Oh...but how can I forget the ladies. The top-of-the-list. The hot sauce on the chicken. The fresh cheeks. Its a dog eat cat world out there. Vulgar pun intended. Yep. And quite frankly a fox will move-it-on-in at any chance it gets. Dont be foolish. Yea, yea I know....girls just wanna have fun but so do the big bad wolves on campus. Lol. As far as I'm concerned their made for the looking but not for the taking. As a friend once said, "silly girl, he doesnt claim you!" Well the faster you drill that in your head, the less stupidity you will have to make up for in the end. And I know some of you female frosh's don't mind the attention or the danger involved in such undertakings but my word to you is fear the gift that keeps on giving! Wrap him up! ;)
And to the fellows. I don't have much to say to you really. But please leave your dashiki scarves and those fashion parade clothing you wore in high school at home because quite frankly no one cares. Make sure your sweats and your socks are freshly laundered. If they were bought white make sure they are worn white (then again, this issue extends far beyond just froshies...upperclassmen need to be well-informed as well). On another note, there is no need to come on campus and bring hood-like activities and outlandish 'street' behavior along with you in attempts to appear 'cool-like', 'wavy', or 'smooth'. As far as I'm concerned, I do not care how much cereal with water you ate in the hood or how many of your friends got shot on the block or even how advanced your blunt-rolling skills are. YOU ARE IN COLLEGE. In other words you beat the odds so in return such behaviors and attitudes need to be relinquished.
Nevertheless, I wish you young and campus-virgin froshies a great and wonderful year. Please, please, please enjoy it because your only a first-year once. Just keep in mind, you have a degree to earn and a future to pursue. So make good use of your time. College years are the best years. Play hard. Study hard, my loves. It's going to be a wonderful year. Stay blessed.
Signed,
Olive
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